Back to Reality

THE HOLIDAYS ARE OVER!!  I am so excited!  Alexzandria is back in school and our lives are getting back to the normal ebb and flow.  I was really looking forward to this holiday season but by the time it was over I just felt like I had a bad hang over. 

Thanksgiving was a rushed event because we had to get Kevin ready for a business trip to the east coast for 3 weeks.  He left the day after Thanksgiving.  He missed Ethan’s birthday but got in the day after and we celebrated both the kids’ birthdays that weekend.  I hated doing that to them.  We had always said that we would not only keep their birthdays separate from Christmas but also from each other.  This year though it wasn’t possible with Kevin being out of town. 

Kevin got back a week before Christmas sooo that meant I had to get all our shopping done in the short time frame.  That was crazy insane and lots of running around trying to find things that were sold out at other places.  We managed to get everything done and I even managed to bake a whole crapload of cookies and make a ton of candy.  People love going off their diets around the holidays at my house.

Christmas was a whirl of family and presents and food.  Had our share of drama with Ethan and having to learn to be grateful for everything he got and then with Alexzandria beginning to lose her belief in Santa Claus.  That makes me especially sad because it adds sooo much magic to the season.  But I think she is changing her mind a bit because I told her Santa only gives to those who believe so she either believes or will lie to make me happy.  I know Mother of the Year right!!

The end of the world came and went … New years was a blur … and now we start our road to summer!!  I hope you all had a wonderful season and made many happy memories!!  Here is to a fantastic 2013!!

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Finally

I have to say I am very happy tonight!  

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Election Voices

I am voting to ensure that ALL Americans have the same chance at a good education because they are American NOT because they are wealthy or have wealthy connections.

I am voting to ensure that ALL Americans have the right to good health care because our country cares about them and their health NOT because they are wealthy or have wealthy connections.

I am voting to protect my rights as a woman because I believe that I have the right to choose what to do with my body not some middle aged man sitting on his high horse in Washington.

I am voting because I believe my rights as an American should not be governed by corporations who don’t care enough about the American people to keep the jobs in America.

I am voting because Christianity isn’t the only religion covered by the Constitution EVERY religion is free to practice in America.

I am voting because I believe that EVERYONE should pay their fair share to keep this great country of ours running.

I am voting because I am a woman, I have a voice, and as hard as you might try to quiet it my voice will carry.

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Best Laid Plans

You know how you work on a post, plan them out, have them ready to post on certain days, and then you go to post them and decide after rereading them that yeah it just isn’t going to work?  How about when you do this at 11:30 at night trying to make a deadline by midnight.  Yeah that would be what happened to me tonight.  Oh well back to the drawing board.

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NaBloPoMo 2012

November is National Blog Posting Month or the short version NaBloPoMo.  So you will see a lot of me this month. I don’t know why NaBloPoMo spurs me into writing only when it is the nationally recognized month since groups like Blogher does a version of it every month.  One would think that I would feel the challenge on a monthly basis through them but somehow it doesn’t seem as special.  Hmmm or maybe I am just extra special crazy?  Hopefully I will do better than what I have started off with so far since this is day 3 and I have already missed a day.  Ugh!

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Updates: Warning a little depressing

Starting this post off with a big hug to everyone affected by the superstorm Sandy and all the damage it has caused.  With an extra thought out to my dad who happens to be on a job out there right now.  Be safe and keep warm while managing the clean up. 

So I just wanted to put a little update out there into internet world since I haven’t posted in a while.  Alexzandria has joined Job’s Daughter, a Masonic youth organization for girls; she has been doing great and having a lot f fun.  On the flip side with her she is failing history because of art?!?!?  Yeah I am just as confused and you might be by that but it is true, she is failing history because of not drawing maps or not coloring them adequately.  Ugh, what I don’t get is she is the artist in the family; she has drawn some really beautiful and amazing things but can’t get her head around a map.  Of course it doesn’t help that she thinks a lot like her dad in the ways of perfection.  Jeez it is just a stinking map draw it already.

Ethan is getting ready to start a transitional kindergarten.  This is a fancy class to appease those parents that have kids who were born just past the cutoff date for getting into kindergarten.  Ethan’s birthday is the 12th of December so just a few days shy for our district so they created this class which starts in February to quiet the rumbles of the parents who feel it is unjust to keep a kid out of kindergarten because of when they were born and not by oh I don’t know maybe their abilities.  I will love it when the school system understands that age is just a number.

Kevin is good.  He is trudging along like he always does.  He might get sent out to help with the storm damage on the east coast.  Which no offense to all the victims but hope he does because loads of overtime which we need right now because the house still hasn’t sold, I still haven’t found a job, and we are still in oodles of debt.  So Kevin keeps trudging along hoping one day the trudge might be a little easier.

And know we are to me.  Notice I saved the best for last.  I am not sure how to express how I am.  On the good side I have been involved with Job’s Daughters with my daughter and am looking forward to continued involvement.  I enjoy all the time I spend with her and the young ladies knowing that I have an impact on their lives and hopefully it is a great positive one they will remember for the rest of their lives.  Ok well maybe at least for right now.  I have also found an area to expand my spirituality which is a step in the right direction; however I still have a long way to go. 

One of the more difficult areas for me is that the house still hasn’t sold.  This house is amazing it is two story with 4 bedrooms, 2 ¾ baths, 2 living areas, an office, dining room, walk in closet, great laundry room, 2 car garage with enough storage pace to fit another car and still have room left over, on a huge corner lot, on a cull-de-sac, across the street from the neighborhood pool and within walking distance of two parks with lots of open grass area to play.  3 of the bedrooms are downstairs and the 4th is upstairs with the second living area and ¾ baths, it is like its own apartment up there.  It is in a great, growing city with a fantastic school district and is a quick jaunt away from a major metro area.  This is my house.  Please tell me what is wrong with it because I can’t figure out why it won’t sell.

I am also dealing with the fact that I have been unemployed for 2 years.  I understand the pain of the people who just give up looking.  It is hard when you have something to offer your society but it seems as if no one wants you.  In the last 2 years Ii have sent out hundreds no thousands of resumes and have hit up all the placement services try to find something, anything.  I haven’t even really gotten any bites and the few bites I got haven’t lead to anything.  I had some hope with a retail job recently but evidentially I am not qualified enough to spread lotion on someone’s hand.  So I am still looking even though it takes a huge amount of physical efforts to sit down and look for a job because of all that nasty rejection no one likes.

And now the worst for last.  My best friends lost their baby.  She was 34 weeks it was a placental abruption and the doctors didn’t get to the baby in time.  My heart broke into a million pieces for them and for myself.  I was looking forward to this baby so much.  He would have been like a little nephew to me.  I took it really hard.  Then because if the closeness my friend and I had shared during her pregnancy it was harder for her to see me then most other people so she pulled away from me for a few weeks.  That was really hard because I need to be with her to mourn I felt lost not being able to help take care of her during her grieving.  She texted me the other day saying she is ready of me to invade her space.  I am very happy about thatJ.  I participated in a ceremony last night to honor our dead and I chose to single out the baby letting him know that even though he was short with his time and that he only got to feel his mother’s love through her womb that he was greatly loved by so many and he shares a special place in all our hearts.  I am watching his candle burn today and hope the message has gotten to him. 

I am recovering, my friend is recovering, I am still looking for work, still putting as much positive energy into the house selling as I can and still hoping that all the negative that is going on in my life right now will turn around into a beautiful positive.  Any positive energy you have to spare would be much appreciated.

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Exploration

My daughter informed me that she has read all my blog posts.  I didn’t even know she knew what the name of my blog was.  After reading them all she also informed me that I needed to write more or she might have to take over my blog!  WTF!!  Oh really miss smarty pants well I don’t think so.  So of course the next step in this conversation was to ask if she could have her own blog!

Now I am uncertain about how to handle this.  I told her that I would have to talk to her dad about it and we would let her know.  Of course he is no help since he basically tells me to do whatever I think is right.  This isn’t helpful for my daughter because I tend to be so afraid of predators on the internet that I don’t ever want to on the computer.  I try very hard to get over my fears and let her do things but as a parent these have to be the hardest decisions to make.

I try to strike a nice balance between protecting my child and suffocating her.  When they are babies they are so easy, they eat, poop, sleep and sometimes get sick.  This moving into teenage land and young adulthood is a very difficult terrain as a parent.  How do I make sure she is always safe but give her the room she needs to explore her world, make her own decisions, and of course make her own mistakes?

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